HELP, a four letters word sometimes hard to say.
I was only 5 years old, (or at least that is as far as my memory goes), when for the first time, my parents said to me: “we are very proud of you”.
I would often hear that phrase whenever I got good grades, (I can proudly say it happened a lot 🙂 , if I had done something new, been good to my little sister, etc.
Growing up I would rarely ask for help with my homework, not to say that I never did, but honestly, I don’t remember asking.
Four letters word as I grow…
I’ve always felt good because I was being noticed and for me being noticed was not the main point. It was always just to know that I did something good, or it was right by someone and in none of those cases I wanted to ask for help, even if I needed to. You see, for me, asking for help meant that I was not capable, that I was weak or even dumb. I would only ask for help to my mom and dad in my infant days, but while growing up I would then be the one who everyone came asking for help.
As I got older I had to “learn” to ask for help
In my early days as a leader, I always thought I had to be the one with all the answers.
I was allowing every member to join in with ideas, helping each other, I personally would not ask for “help” but for “assistance”. Oh yes! In my mind those are totally, totally different.
Throughout the years, I’ve learned that I was not humble enough to reach out to others for help. I couldn’t recognize that I didn’t have all the answers and that at some point I needed help. I understood that being humble is not something to be ashamed off. Being humble should not be confused with being less, week, or incapable.
Humility is a human virtue. It is when someone has developed awareness of their own limitations and / or weaknesses, and seeks to work on them and / or rely on others whose limitations or weaknesses are not the same, allowing support and team work to flow.
As a leader who is accustomed of giving answers, helping your team and never asking for help it is hard to accept that sometimes you need to. But the beauty of it all is that by doing so, your team can relate to you because this shows an open door to good communication and learning experiences for all.