Our Imperfections Keep us Alive

Our imperfections are as a result of being unique and this uniqueness is the footprint we leave – our legacy.

 

Working as a health coach was by far one of most the most meaningful growth experiences in my life.  It gave me the opportunity to drive changes in my athletes that would have a positive impact on their lives.  For each one of them, the path would be different depending on the WHAT, the HOW and the WHY.  WHAT they wanted to accomplish, HOW they would do it and WHY they wanted to do it.  In order to move forward with the plan, the WHY has to be completely understood and to achieve this your senses have to be open for patterns and traits that are the reflection of the person.  These patterns and traits are often referred to as imperfections.  We look at these imperfections as things that are difficult to move away from but are apart of us but need to be changed.  No wonder we perceive this path as a struggle.

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The Confident Coach 5: Feedback in Coaching

What makes a new coach confident about their coaching approach? How does this translate into their ultimate success as business coaches?

This is the fifth in a series of five articles about The Confident Coach. I thought it would be interesting to discover the factors new coaches starting out on their coaching journey report they are confident about; and how this is a predictor of their ultimate success. To do this we must track their progress over the first 18 weeks of the Coaching Master Class programme. Here’s how the programme works. After the initial training I run three coach-the-coach sessions at six week intervals. Session one focusses on the new coach’s confidence in the five key elements of the training. Session two on the business results being achieved with coaching. And session three to assess coaching capability. A couple of years ago I ran a worldwide Coaching Master Class programme for 100 top leaders. I’ve looked at my notes from coach-the-coach follow up sessions with the top 20 from this group to see what makes them ‘Confident Coaches’.

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Three nodes of goodness

There are decent and honourable people in our world who are doing superb work. Let me tell you about a few people I respect and admire for their positive endeavour, driving change and celebrating success. In some ways, this is an advertorial for their work.

Making silk purses out of sows’ ears

Recent articles from me have concerned values and being “flummoxed” at what I see happening around me.  Combined, I feel even greater disquiet at the accelerating pace by which our world appears to be catapulting itself in a hand cart into hell.  Contextually, this is the “sow’s ear”.

I thought I should try and find something positive to say in this contribution to remind myself that there are decent and honourable people in our world who are doing superb work.  So, let me tell you about a few people, i.e. the “silk purses”, I know.  I respect and admire them for their positive endeavour, driving change and celebrating success.  In some ways, this is an advertorial for their work.

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Construction: it’s learning to be better…

I couldn’t imagine doing anything else, and yet, I have a dark secret – I work in construction!

I chose a career in learning because people fascinate me.

We are unique as a species in our capacity to develop and grow and I’m privileged to have been a part of that journey with many amazing individuals. I get paid for doing something that fills me with joy.

I couldn’t imagine doing anything else, and yet, I have a dark secret – I work in construction! As we all know this is an industry with a reputation for training people, not developing them. A place for you to carve out a living if you weren’t quite good enough…

Well dear reader, I humbly beg to differ; my experience has been of an industry striving to innovate and improve, one aware of its shortcomings, operating in the toughest of circumstances and doing all of that with a smile on its face and a steely determination at its heart.

Changing that perception will be tough but it’s not impossible and if we continue to focus on the areas below that change may happen sooner than you think…

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A Lesson for Myself

Last week I had one of the most extraordinary experiences of my training career. It’s recast my view of leadership and myself as a leader.

Once in a Lifetime

Last week I had one of the most extraordinary experiences of my training career. Through RADA in Business I was engaged to train speakers taking part in the BBC’s commemorations for the 100th anniversary of the Battle of Passchedeale.

Thus, I found myself in Ypres working with a group of almost 40 serving military personnel, actors and descendants of people who had died in this bloodiest of battles; an incredibly diverse group of people, all of whom would be reading on live television.

This is set in the context of remembering a battle that took the lives of tens of thousands of men and the intense emotions that evokes. If you saw either of the two programmes on the BBC you will understand what a humbling and tragic event we were focussing on.

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Those (negative) thoughts…

We apparently born with two fears. Fear of height and loud sound. The rest we develop in throughout our lives. Such fears drain confidence and one of them is the fear of failure. The bad ‘news’ is that ‘If you’re not prepared to be wrong (or to fail), you will never come up with anything original.’

Imagine you are driving your car on a road for hours and haven’t seen any car for hours and your GPS, or whatever app you use, shows the nearest gas station is several driving hours far in any direction – you are literally in the middle of nowhere. Then you get a flat Tyre. You stop and open your trunk. You don’t have a jack.

Sunset is approaching quickly, you lock your car and start walking. After around 2 hours, you spot a house. Walking towards the house you start thinking – how should I approach the house? do they have a hostile dog? What if the people living there are not friendly? Will they help me or attack me? All those doubts and negative thoughts keep hammering your head; you feel uneasy and scared, but you carry on.

You get to the house, knock on the door. Someone opens the door with a surprising but very sweet smile. You explain what happened and the person not only has a jack but invite you for a bowl of soup, drives you back, helps you changing the tyre and you follow your journey…

Does it resonate with you? These are the negative thoughts which come to drain confidence, create doubts and prevent you from reaching your goals!

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Leading in the Training Room

Leaders have to be prepared to tread the path for others to walk on, not just plan the route.

Leaders and followers training together

Over the last couple of weeks I’ve spent some time working with a regular client. They are an innovative and creative mid-sized company based over three countries.

While the training was very much focused on how they engage with their clients, one thing in particular struck me about what a great company they are. the range of people on the course.

The small group consisted of one person with “Executive” at the end of their job title, who had been in the organisation for ten months, as well as someone with “C” at the beginning of the theirs and who had been there for many years.

While the training wasn’t designed for a specific management level, I was surprised when I learned how senior that one participant was. The training itself was incredibly successful and the dynamics within the group open, free and courageous. The C-level employee told me how she had pushed to get on the course. She was trying to balance her desire to learn and improve while not taking a valuable place on a small and intensive learning experience really aimed at lower levels.

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In Pursuit of Happiness and Success

A book, a poem and a newspaper article – what can we learn about the Pursuit of Happiness and Success from these publications?

There are books, poems and articles that stay with you throughout your adult life. In my case I can cite one of each and recall the person – in all cases A family member – who originally brought them to my attention. When I look back I realise these were the people that influenced me in my early years. They set me on a path in pursuit of happiness and success.

A Book. As far as books go for me it has been ‘How to Win Friends & Influence People’ by Dale Carnegie that set me on my path. I have a 1977 paperback edition. The subtitle on the front cover says: ‘The phenomenal bestseller that is helping millions find success and happiness’. It’s well used, marked up with pencil and has post-it notes sticking out to draw me back to things I must have thought were important to me in the 1970s and beyond. I was introduced to this book by my late father-in-law Ken Smith. What’s even more exciting for me is that I now have Ken’s 1936 hardback imprint of the same book. And it has his pencil marks ups, which give me a great insight to what was important to him in the 1940s and 50s as he started out on his path to happiness and success in his life and in his career. The inside front cover of Ken’s book quotes Carnegie’s ‘Twelve things this book will help you achieve‘.

A Poem. The poem that influenced me was ‘If‘ by Rudyard Kipling which my mother Peggy sent me in 1968 when I had left home to go to University. I believe at that time she was offering me a pattern for my future life.

An Article. We have to wait until the new millennium for the article that has influenced both my wife and I ever since that time. It was my father-in-law Ken again who sent us a clipping from The Sunday Times of 30 January 2000 entitled ‘How to be Happy’. It was  an article by Gyles Brandreth in which he interviewed the eminent Irish psychiatrist Dr Anthony Clare who offered his seven point plan for happiness. We have followed Dr Clare’s prescription ever since. And just last month my wife Sue introduced me to a new article in the Independent about a ten year research programme by ‘Happiness Expert’ Eric Barker. In the article the Indy’s lifestyle writer Kashmira Gander summarises “Eric Barker has spent almost a decade uncovering why some people seem more happy and successful than others, but his findings don’t always make for comfortable reading“.

There is a surprising fourth source of inspiration from a family member – a Document of State – but more of that later!

What can we learn about the Pursuit of Happiness and Success from these publications?

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Exam season: prevention not cure

School blackboard
© | Dreamstime Stock Photos

It’s that time of year when a good proportion of the population works itself into a state of agitation.  It’s school and university exam season; time to judge the learning you’ve learned.  I guess almost every reader of this blog will have taken an exam at some time and/or shepherded their son(s) or daughter(s) through doing so.  They will have a broad array of memories about the experience.  Does our collective recollection indicate we were affected by the same degree of anxiety that seems to prevail today?  Or, is this one of those situations glimpsed in the rear-view mirror that appears smaller than it really is?  Were we scared, short of sleep and forgot the single most important coaching line ever uttered, “Read the [insert appropriate profanity] question”?

However, is there a deeper, more important question to pose at this time?  That is, “Is our approach to education fit for purpose?”  Have we forgotten what makes sound pedagogy; what represents real learning as opposed to mere information transfer, which like water finds its own course in and immediately out of someone’s head?

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The Confident Coach 4: Challenging Perceptions

What makes a new coach confident about their coaching approach? How does this translate into their ultimate success as business coaches?

This is the fourth in a series of five articles about The Confident Coach. I thought it would be interesting to discover the factors new coaches starting out on their coaching journey report they are confident about; and how this is a predictor of their ultimate success. To do this we must track their progress over the first 18 weeks of the Coaching Master Class programme. Here’s how the programme works. After the initial training I run three coach-the-coach sessions at six week intervals. Session one focusses on the new coach’s confidence in the five key elements of the training. Session two on the business results being achieved with coaching. And session three to assess coaching capability. A couple of years ago I ran a worldwide Coaching Master Class programme for 100 top leaders. I’ve looked at my notes from coach-the-coach follow up sessions with the top 20 from this group to see what makes them ‘Confident Coaches’.

Continue reading “The Confident Coach 4: Challenging Perceptions”